June 8, 2010 by MokkaCheenu
It’s been a month since the FLD™ Maximum I served up to the BCCI. The 15000 page document was the Whatan™ Idea I single-handedly served up ( do not think I was playing tennis. Besides even in tennis, no one can serve single handedly). They thought I was their Oxyben™ Akmal (long lost brother of Kamran and Umar Akmal, now a wealthy businessman who fixes matches, I mean, he’s a marriage broker and thus fixes ‘matches’) Catch, but li’l did they know that I had performed the SeetuKampany™ vanishing act (for the uninitiated, the SeetuKampany™ vanishing act is that act by which Houdini actually escapes from the clutches of the shark under water when his hands and legs are fastened. Of course not! Its a con-job you nitwits!) . I am actually holidaying up here at ******* ™. (location removed by request).
Been busy drawing-up plans for the fourth EMI instalment. You see since all rights were drawn up to the IPL commissioner , i was unable to use the naming rights for the tournament. Had to come up with IPeeYell4. I don’t actually Pee and then Yell (except when I have an infection). FLD weren’t quite interested with the tournament so had to vouch for sponsors.
Interested people were notified via Twitter™, auction arranged with the help of a minister (name removed upon request). At last we settled with one and I am proud to be associated with the brand – Paariware™ IPeeYell4. As for man-power, we have to look out for commies and settle with – Ada paavi Biscuits and Pastry™ and Her-shah (No, she’s not a Shah. In fact she’s not even a she. She’s a he. It’s a male. He’s a male. Aargh! You get the point!) USB-Dongle™.
It was tough tuning Ravi to the decibel levels of the original, but now he can put Maria Share™-apova (no, you cannot share her. She is mine!) to shame. Media relations will be handled by Sassy Twittoor™ (most definitely not My Sassy girl) and Digg™-Widget Sing (not the widget found in digg.com but maybe a midget from somewhere) .
As for the BCCI , they will now have to face my next dossier, which has successfully been written in collaboration with Now-Jot™ Singh Buddhu (in spite of his name, he’s actually quite clever – NOT!). It is now a 23,45,665 page dossier complete with Now-Jottisms (all jotted down by Buddhu himself) and their historical references. I also intend to send them in various regional languages , just to keep them occupied as I run my show.
As for players, who needs them anyway? I just got in touch with FIP, who has lent his full support and is proud to be associated with the cricketing festival.Watch this space for more.